


Carnal

by Tirainy



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Developing Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Post-Sonic Forces, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Touch-Starved, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, slight nsfw, watch out I'm getting experimental again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tirainy/pseuds/Tirainy
Summary: Wars always bring change. Shadow knows so. However, that still doesn't make it any less staggering that his life now involves Sonic regularly sharing his bed at night and him being completely fine with this.
Relationships: Shadow the Hedgehog/Sonic the Hedgehog
Comments: 18
Kudos: 211





	Carnal

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Well, I actually intended to post this one before I went on hiatus but for whatever reason I didn't. So, feel free to have go.
> 
> AN: So, I thought up this premise and then was like 'Well, there's just no way this is going to work with these two'. Then another (arrogant) part of me was like 'Is that a challenge?' and now I am here. So, I warn you—I'm totally flying by the seat of my pants in this one. Like 95 % of the time. Have fun. Hopefully.

The war ends. People rejoice.

Shadow knows he should too, but instead he reflects. He thinks of all that was lost. Of all who were lost. He thinks of all that still needs to be done. How they might have defeated Doctor Eggman but that does not mean he will not rise again.

When he looks around himself, he sees people enjoying _life_. Dancing, laughing, holding their beloved close. With no care what will happen come morning when the real world comes rushing back. The hard work that will be required of them to rebuild the world that the war has left in ruins. The months they will have to live on nothing but water and bread crumbs as they wait for the fields to turn green again. They all live in the present moment where nothing but their renewed freedom and continuing existence matters; the joys of life that have returned to them.

He thinks how little of those he really knows. Despite experiencing more trials than many of them combined. Even if they all experienced war.

He hears a familiar voice to his right. He turns to see his expression reflected in the other's face even if the hero tries to hide it behind a smile and joke. Sonic knows what he's thinking without him having to say anything. He thinks so too.

Sonic says how it makes one reflect. Shadow just silently agrees. Sonic speaks of regrets of actions never taken. Shadow understands.

"You know, there's one thing I've always wanted to do," Sonic confesses with a conspiratorial smirk. There's an amused glint to his eye, but a nervous twitch to his lip, and Shadow just rises a brow. "Feel free to stop me," the hero says, and as he leans in Shadow knows what Sonic wishes to do.

Shadow does not stop him. He gives into the unfamiliar sensation of another's lips on his and it feels more pleasant than he's expected it. He brings Sonic close to his body and learns what is it to like have lust course through him. But then Sonic pulls away. However, it's only so he can drag them off to somewhere more private. Shadow follows and once the door clicks closed, they have their own private celebration of life.

Shadow feels alive for the first time in months.

-O-

Shadow didn't think it would happen a second time. Not that either of them has denied the possibility of it happening again, but Sonic has always struck Shadow as someone who doesn't do meaningless flings. Not that it is something he himself revels in. He's considered the victory night as an exception where both of them were overcome with the reality of the new world and the weight of regrets of the old one.

But Sonic comes again. After midnight, when anyone reasonable is already fast asleep.

It seems Shadow's own common sense always goes out of the window when it comes to Sonic.

"It's cold," Sonic lies when Shadow asks him why he's here; this night is one of the warmest to date. "I've thought you might appreciate someone to _warm_ you up," the hero quips as he does. And Shadow ponders. He would be lying if he said he hasn't enjoyed their last time; he doesn't find it to be the most earth-shattering experience in the world as most people seemed to regard it as, but he enjoyed himself enough to be willing to repeat it. But he hesitates.

For there's the nervous edge to the hero's smile again and tension to his shoulders. It appears often these days. Shadow wonders why that is so.

He doesn't think Sonic would tell him if he asked. Though, he does have an idea. It would also explain why Sonic wants to repeat last time. Not enjoyment in his case, but a _distraction._ He understands that need.

Shadow ponders.

"Somebody should really turn the thermostat up," he lies right back, in the end, and steps out of the way to let Sonic in. The hero looks grateful.

Sonic walks inside and Shadow closes the door. Sonic has already discarded one article of clothing when their lips meet. The hero's kisses are hungry and urgent, and Sonic clutches onto him as if the hero expects him to turns to smoke if he lets go. That he'll turn out to be another mirage—a _phantom_ , perhaps.

Shadow understands.

And, so, he's a little more rough than he is gentle. Taunts rather than keeping silent. Overwhelms the other with his presence so the demons in Sonic's mind are forced to slither back into whatever dark crevice they had come from. He brings Sonic to an edge and makes the hero fall.

Shadow gets a first glimpse of a wounded hero hiding underneath a bright smile that night.

-O-

Shadow doesn't think he knows how to be kind.

When he was still young and malleable, his GUN overseers had done their best to knock such 'useless' sentiments out of him. Obedience? Wanted. Compassion? Unwanted. Viciousness? Wanted. Mercifulness? Unwanted. Generosity? Unwanted. Kindness? Unwanted. Unwanted. Unwanted—

Maria, the angel she was, had done her best to thwart their efforts, to keep him to the side of good, save him from the fate of the demon the GUN was molding him into it, but there was only so much a single frail thirteen year old girl could do. She could not stop the corruption completely.

But clearly all of her efforts haven't been in vain, for a small bit of good has remained him. But if that bit is kindness? Shadow does not know.

However, when Sonic makes an advance for the third time, Shadow doesn't even think of denying. Neither does he think of asking Sonic why he's shaking as if somebody has just dropped him into an ice-cold water. He knows an insomniac when he sees one. Can practically see the nightmares that have pulled Sonic awake swimming in the depths of the green eyes.

When he slips past Sonic's back to close the door, he doesn't even blink and just raises an arm to block the reflexive punch the hero throws at him. Sonic looks surprised by his own action. Then ashamed when he realizes what exactly he's done. He apologizes. Shadow pretends nothing has happened and makes sure to keep in Sonic's line of sight for the rest of the night.

Is it kindness?

Shadow wonders until the sun rises above the horizon.

-O-

Outside those four walls, they do not speak of it.

Sonic pretends that the six months of captivity was just a pure boredom-fest and not something that makes him seek out Shadow every few nights to chase away his demons at least for a little while. He smiles and jokes and says, "Don't worry! I'm _fine_ ," as they work on rebuilding the world with his friends, and if Shadow didn't know better, he'd believe him.

Shadow knows better, though.

-O-

It's month into their arrangement when things start to shift.

At midnight, Sonic appears as those many times before. Then, the hero drops another stupid line about whether he wants to have a practice lesson of horizontal tango or something similar. Shadow isn't really listening too closely as he's waiting to ask a question of his own.

"Do you?" he challenges once the hero stops rambling and Sonic stares at him for a long moment as if he cannot wrap his head around the question. Then he opens his mouth, surely planning to utter some witty remark about never backing down from a challenge, but clasps it shuts almost as quickly. Multiple times. Eventually, the hero bows his head, shakes it and utters a potentially damning "no".

Shadow invites him in anyway.

They still end up on the bed. Touching even. But this time, it's innocent and all Shadow does that night is hold Sonic close.

Shadow does not speak when Sonic starts crying ten minutes after midnight.

-O-

It becomes somewhat of a routine after that.

They don't spend every night together and of those they do, not all are spent with sex. Sometimes they just _rest_ beside one another, letting themselves be lulled into a state of serenity by the other's presence—there might be still enemies waiting around but they had each other to watch out for them. Sometimes they just talk—of nothing in particular or of what their duties are so they know when they can meet again. Like tonight.

"Where's GUN sending you this time?" Sonic asks, his bare fingers playing absent-mindedly with a strand of Shadow's chest-fur. Shadow still doesn't know why Sonic finds it so fascinating.

"Mazuri," he replies simply. Dr. Eggman's empire has left a power vacuum and way too many criminal organizations were trying to seize control now when the world's governments were still trying to re-establish themselves and they couldn't just let that happen. They haven't taken down a tyrant just so another could take his place. "It should take two weeks at most."

"Then I'll be waiting," Sonic replies with a grin and a wink, but Shadow can see the tension in the other's body; the war might be over but that doesn't mean danger still doesn't lurk behind every corner.

"You better," Shadow says and they both know it doesn't mean only that.

_Take care of yourself,_ it also says. But he knows _that_ is not what Sonic wants to hear.

Shadow feels like he is leaving something precious behind when he leaves that morning.

-O-

"It's been _three_ weeks."

"You kept us waiting six months."

That earns Shadow a punch to a shoulder. Not a light one, mind you, but certainly light one to _him_ and Sonic knows that. It's just meant to physically convey Sonic's frustration both at his prolonged absence and him bringing up Sonic's _imprisonment._ For Sonic knows he knows. After all, with how many times Sonic has woken up screaming, he'd have to be stupid as a brick to not have figured it out at this point.

He knows it's also the main reason why they are here, in his room, in the first place, and he knows he should have probably turned away Sonic long ago to find somebody better suited to help him with his trauma and in more conventional means, but he knows that Sonic will appreciate more someone who just _understands_ without him having to tell anything rather than a stranger with a degree under a belt that will offer him only an ear to listen to and empty words of encouragement.

_Please, don't let me be alone again._

Sonic screams voicelessly, with every touch, every look and every action, and Shadow understands for he has been there before. So he takes as he knows Sonic wants him to. He seizes hold of the blue and peach body, conquers Sonic's mouth and lays marks on the hero's body. Forces Sonic to think of only him and the present moment until they both lay spent and content on the bed that isn't meant for two but they have been using it as such.

Then in the quietness of the night, Sonic will murmur a wordless, "Thank you." Shadow will only grumble in response and then they'll curl up around each other to fit on the too small bed.

And then Shadow will sleep the whole night for the first time in weeks.

-O-

It takes time. To rebuild. Recover. For things to return to how they used to be.

The cities reach for the sky once more and the fields turn green with produce. People laugh and live on. Some have to force their smiles a little bit more, such as in Sonic's case, but even his smile turns genuine eventually. The hero continues to share his bed but their nights are full of laughter and more light-hearted unlike when they have started. Shadow finds it almost staggering how the things change and not at all. He's thought he'd never let anybody close after losing Maria but here he is now. Lazying in his bed with someone he'd have called a nuisance years ago and his chest filling with pleasant warmth.

Shadow thinks he might love for the first time in decades.

It's a nice feeling.


End file.
